Rest in Paradise Young Man
For months I have heard about the deaths of the cornavirus on the daily news. I prayed for the people who died, even though I didn't know any of them and I prayed for their families and wondered how they got through the pain of having to say goodbye through a window or a face time video. Or sometimes not at all.
I never dreamed that one day, which was yesterday, July 30th, that my family would suffer the same fate as the families I had been praying for and hearing about on the news. Flashback, to a few days before July 30th. On July 25th or so, my oldest nephew called his mom and said he was in pain, serious pain around his stomach and side areas. He really didn't want to go to the hospital because of the virus. He didn't want to catch it and give it to his wife and kids so for a few days he stayed at home and suffered through the pain which was on and off. My sister, his mom, finally almost demanded that he go to the hospital. He did. Little did anyone know that would be the last time she would speak to him.
Upon his arrival at the hospital they gave him a covid test. He had no symptoms at all. He tested positive. He was immediately admitted and several more tests were given to find out what the pain was in his sides and stomach. My sister kept in touch with all the doctors religiously, as much as she could and so did his wife. A day after he was admitted the doctors said it was his liver and kidney giving him problems. We were thinking well, at least we now know what it is. They also said that the covid complicated things. We even expected that part. A day later he was in stable condition according to his doctor. They had given him something for the pain and something to flush out his system, all the toxins. They said that he was slow to speak but that was because of the medicines. Of course, nobody could really speak to him. Nobody called the next day. My sister called left a message for the doctor. She was concerned because neither she nor his wife had heard anything and we didn't know if that was good news or bad news.
It was bad news. He had went from stable two days prior to do you want to put him on life support. It was time to say goodbye. They were told his liver and kidneys were failing due to complications from the virus. He had trouble breathing during the night and his lab work was not good. He was going to die. There was nothing more they could do. They said the obligatory sorry and asked my sister if she had any questions. Well, the only question anyone would have was WHY? WHY HIM? why couldn't they help him? Why did he have to die and leave three little kids and a wife behind? You wanted to scream it and you wanted it to just NOT be true. You want to yell someone wake me up from this nightmare. This can't be happening. He can't be dying. This can't be the end. He can't leave this earth at 34 years old. NOOOO.
But, then you realize that now you are in a new reality. A reality that you never ever thought you would be in. My sister's first born child was dying. She was dying inside too as we all were. There was nothing we could do to wish this deadly virus away and let him live.
The next step was to put him on morphine for the pain. They said he would pass peacefully in his sleep. He wouldn't be in any pain. They asked my sister if she would like to have a video chat to say goodbye. Since we are living in the times of Covid-19 there was no other way to say goodbye. Through many tears and still in disbelief she said yes, she had to see her son one last time even if it was through a phone.
A few hours later she got the call for the chat. They told her he wouldn't be able to speak because of the morphine but he could hear her. Through her I PHONE she told him she loved him one last time. I couldn't bear to see him on his death bed so I didn't want to see him and honestly, I was glad that my mom's therapist was here so I didn't have to. I preferred to remember him like he was before he got sick. I know that may have been selfish of me and I know that some people won't agree but that was how I chose to handle his death. I knew in my heart of hearts that he knew I loved him very much and he was like a son to me also.
When my sister was talking to him all I heard ringing in my ears was the sounds of the breathing machine they had him on. I will never forget that sound as long as I live. I remember the sound of my sister's voice, cracking and tears streaming down her face as she said goodbye and I love you one last time to her son.
Now, I knew some of the pain that the families around the world felt when they got that phone call from a hospital or a doctor saying the last thing a mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, brother or sister, etc..would ever want to hear. "Your loved one passed away."
Rest in Peace, Marcus Edgar Gregory Fernandez. Rest in Peace.
I never dreamed that one day, which was yesterday, July 30th, that my family would suffer the same fate as the families I had been praying for and hearing about on the news. Flashback, to a few days before July 30th. On July 25th or so, my oldest nephew called his mom and said he was in pain, serious pain around his stomach and side areas. He really didn't want to go to the hospital because of the virus. He didn't want to catch it and give it to his wife and kids so for a few days he stayed at home and suffered through the pain which was on and off. My sister, his mom, finally almost demanded that he go to the hospital. He did. Little did anyone know that would be the last time she would speak to him.
Upon his arrival at the hospital they gave him a covid test. He had no symptoms at all. He tested positive. He was immediately admitted and several more tests were given to find out what the pain was in his sides and stomach. My sister kept in touch with all the doctors religiously, as much as she could and so did his wife. A day after he was admitted the doctors said it was his liver and kidney giving him problems. We were thinking well, at least we now know what it is. They also said that the covid complicated things. We even expected that part. A day later he was in stable condition according to his doctor. They had given him something for the pain and something to flush out his system, all the toxins. They said that he was slow to speak but that was because of the medicines. Of course, nobody could really speak to him. Nobody called the next day. My sister called left a message for the doctor. She was concerned because neither she nor his wife had heard anything and we didn't know if that was good news or bad news.
It was bad news. He had went from stable two days prior to do you want to put him on life support. It was time to say goodbye. They were told his liver and kidneys were failing due to complications from the virus. He had trouble breathing during the night and his lab work was not good. He was going to die. There was nothing more they could do. They said the obligatory sorry and asked my sister if she had any questions. Well, the only question anyone would have was WHY? WHY HIM? why couldn't they help him? Why did he have to die and leave three little kids and a wife behind? You wanted to scream it and you wanted it to just NOT be true. You want to yell someone wake me up from this nightmare. This can't be happening. He can't be dying. This can't be the end. He can't leave this earth at 34 years old. NOOOO.
But, then you realize that now you are in a new reality. A reality that you never ever thought you would be in. My sister's first born child was dying. She was dying inside too as we all were. There was nothing we could do to wish this deadly virus away and let him live.
The next step was to put him on morphine for the pain. They said he would pass peacefully in his sleep. He wouldn't be in any pain. They asked my sister if she would like to have a video chat to say goodbye. Since we are living in the times of Covid-19 there was no other way to say goodbye. Through many tears and still in disbelief she said yes, she had to see her son one last time even if it was through a phone.
A few hours later she got the call for the chat. They told her he wouldn't be able to speak because of the morphine but he could hear her. Through her I PHONE she told him she loved him one last time. I couldn't bear to see him on his death bed so I didn't want to see him and honestly, I was glad that my mom's therapist was here so I didn't have to. I preferred to remember him like he was before he got sick. I know that may have been selfish of me and I know that some people won't agree but that was how I chose to handle his death. I knew in my heart of hearts that he knew I loved him very much and he was like a son to me also.
When my sister was talking to him all I heard ringing in my ears was the sounds of the breathing machine they had him on. I will never forget that sound as long as I live. I remember the sound of my sister's voice, cracking and tears streaming down her face as she said goodbye and I love you one last time to her son.
Now, I knew some of the pain that the families around the world felt when they got that phone call from a hospital or a doctor saying the last thing a mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, brother or sister, etc..would ever want to hear. "Your loved one passed away."
Rest in Peace, Marcus Edgar Gregory Fernandez. Rest in Peace.
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