Stories of Memory

It is funny how the mind works sometimes.  Since my mom has this disease now called Dementia or as me and my sister call it the "D" word she has remembered some things that we remember also and sometimes she will swear by a memory that I know she has but it just confused about. My grandmother died ten years ago, almost eleven years ago  and for a brief period of time, for about 3 years we lived in her house. During that time it was pure ciaos and madness and people always coming and going and our days were filled with strangers, lawyers, relatives that were as back stabbing as you could get, and all sorts of legal papers, trustee's, you name it. I don't think that we had one day of peace in that house after my grandmother died. This might contribute to the memory that my mom swears happened in that house. She has a memory of  my son's other grandmother coming over and she had another lady with her and they had ordered some food and sat at the bar and ate it not offering none of the food to anyone in the house. I don't know where this or when this happened to her but I know that it didn't happen in my grandmother's house at the time she is talking about. Now, maybe long ago when she was growing up in that house something like that happened to her because from what she told me a lot of things happened in that house that I didn't know about until recently. Some good, some bad and some in between the good and the bad. But, this I know didn't happen in 2005 like she said. 

I gently tried to remind her that it didn't happen and maybe she was thinking of another time in another era. But, as feisty as my mom is she defended that memory to the end and truly believes that it happened when and where she said it did. I didn't argue. I simply let her tell the story over and over and over and just nodded and told her that some people are like that, selfish and won't share anything with you. She agreed and in that one little moment we agreed. 

I don't disagree with her too often these days. She is still my stubborn, feisty mom that knows everything that I grew up with and back in the day we disagreed on a lot of things but not I am older and wiser and so is she so our disagreements are a minimum these days. 

After all, what does it hurt to let her have her memories. I am glad that she has them, glad that she can still tell me about her childhood and before she got married to my dad. I am glad she still remembers who I am and who her grand kids and my siblings are and glad she still remembers she is a great grandmother to a great grandson she is still waiting to meet over a year and a half almost later. I am glad she remembers what day it is and glad she remembers the year we are in. I know that over time all of this will fade like it did for my grandmother. 

So, I will completely nod in agreement when she tells me the story of the two women.