Expired
I don't like the word "Expired". I haven't liked it since 1974 the year that my father died. He was sick in the hospital for a few weeks and my sister and I used to go with my mom to visit him. My sister and I were too young to go in the intensive care department where he was but sometimes the nurses would let us come in for a few minutes. The rest of the time we had to sit in the hallway and wait for my mom. Sometimes I would talk to some of the other patients who would walk by or some of the visitors who were going to see someone on the same floor. I was young and didn't really know how sick he was and was planning all the things that we were going to do when he came home. My sister and I had it all planned out. We were going to have a big tea party when he got home but this time with real tea not the pretend tea that we always had when he attended our tea parties. We were going to put on real party hats and hats with big feathers and have noise makers which we were going to blow and blow until our mouths got tired of blowing. We were going to make a giant Welcome Home sign and hang it right on the wall, the wall you see when you open the door. The sign was going to be his favorite blue. We had the construction paper all picked out and since I had better handwriting I was going to write the words and she was going to do the decorations on the sign. We were going to convince our mom to get a cake too and have some hog head cheese just for him. We didn't eat it but he did. So, we were going to find out where to get some and pray we had enough in our piggy banks to get some from somewhere that had it. We had no clue where to get it but it was on the menu. Or tiny menu that also included tea, tea cookies, and punch for my mom who doesn't like tea.
We were counting the days. Nobody told us when he was coming home and I know that our mom was tired of us asking. Then one night before bed I got a funny feeling. It felt like someone hit me in the gut and took all my air away. I didn't know what it was but went to bed at my normal time and told my sister and dog and mom good night.
In the morning around 7 or so the phone rang and since it was the weekend my sister and I were not up yet completely. My mom came to our room and she said that we had to go to the hospital right away. Then she started to cry a little and said that on the phone was the hospital and they said that our dad had "Expired" at 6:30 am that morning. I was too shocked to cry but somehow I knew something bad was going to happen and it did.
We went to the hospital about ten minutes away from our apartment and when we got there we went right to his room and he was lying there in the bed like he was sleeping. He was still warm and by that time my grandmother was there too. I guess my mom called her after the hospital called and she met us there. My grandmother watched as we kissed him good bye and stayed for a little bit afterwards until my mom told us it was time to go. We left and called all of his brothers and sisters with the news.
Every since that day I didn't like the word expired. That word brings back terrible memories from the past. I don't know why the doctor didn't say passed away or died why he used the word expired but that choice of words will always be haunting for me and forever seared in my brain as gone not coming back, expired.
We were counting the days. Nobody told us when he was coming home and I know that our mom was tired of us asking. Then one night before bed I got a funny feeling. It felt like someone hit me in the gut and took all my air away. I didn't know what it was but went to bed at my normal time and told my sister and dog and mom good night.
In the morning around 7 or so the phone rang and since it was the weekend my sister and I were not up yet completely. My mom came to our room and she said that we had to go to the hospital right away. Then she started to cry a little and said that on the phone was the hospital and they said that our dad had "Expired" at 6:30 am that morning. I was too shocked to cry but somehow I knew something bad was going to happen and it did.
We went to the hospital about ten minutes away from our apartment and when we got there we went right to his room and he was lying there in the bed like he was sleeping. He was still warm and by that time my grandmother was there too. I guess my mom called her after the hospital called and she met us there. My grandmother watched as we kissed him good bye and stayed for a little bit afterwards until my mom told us it was time to go. We left and called all of his brothers and sisters with the news.
Every since that day I didn't like the word expired. That word brings back terrible memories from the past. I don't know why the doctor didn't say passed away or died why he used the word expired but that choice of words will always be haunting for me and forever seared in my brain as gone not coming back, expired.
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