Give Thanks
I turned on my mom's soaps that she tries to watch before she falls asleep because the meds she is on makes her sleepy. I know that 99 percent of the time when they kill someone off on a soap opera that they are not dead. Like today when the woman they killed off about a month or so ago reappeared at her mom's front door alive and well and looking none the worse for having been "dead" for about two months or so. She looked better now then before she "died". At first she looks through the window of the house, her mom's house which was her grandmother's house which was passed down to her mom where she lived too. So, the scene is that she is dressed all in black with a big floppy black hat that reminded me of a witches hat and she is standing there looking through the curtain less window while her mom is trying to work online. Of course her mom hears something goes to the door and faints when she sees her "dead" daughter standing there saying hello.
If only that was how life worked that you aren't really dead when you "die." I was thinking today that since Thanksgiving is just a short week away that I would give anything to have my grandmother open up the door to her house as we all assemble there for Thanksgiving. I would love to see her smiling face and her outfit that she wore especially for that holiday. I would give anything to sit at the "kids" table that I am not too old to sit at but still my cousins and I would sit there with the kids because the "adult" table had just a little too much drama and for me personally I wouldn't want to be asked who I was dating and where was he by my grandmother. I even wouldn't care if my step grandfather had one of his traditional holiday tantrums and threw down the utensils because someone used the salad fork or the dessert fork to eat their turkey because of course we are not as educated on what fork to use like he is. He was fork savvy and there were always two or three different forks on the table at most of the holiday dinners. I would give anything to even see the same faces that I used to see at every dinner, at every holiday and at every backyard picnic.
If only I could walk to that house again and knock on the door and smell the aroma of turkey cooking in the oven and see the candied yams on the kitchen counter along with the minced meat pie that only my step grandfather will eat. I might even pretend to like the minced meat pie if I could see them again.
It has been many years since I had Thanksgiving with my grandparents, sister, brother, mom and cousins. It has been too many years to count since I walked in their house and smelled all the familiar smells of Thanksgiving. It has been so long since I heard my grandmother's voice and
my step grandfather's voice talking to each other about the turkey and my step grandfather bragging about the turkey he cooked being the best thing since sliced wheat bread. And then he would go on about how he went to his favorite bakery and got all the pies and sweets that all of us can enjoy and the special treat he would get just for me, my favorite pastry that I would only eat once a year. I would even put up with the uncle that talked to much and knew too little.
I would give the moon to see my mom walk inside that house again like she used to and complain about the parking and how we had to get there extra early to get a good parking space that wasn't two blocks away. Just to see that big yellowish greenish house in the middle of the block with the stai glass window over the door and the green steps leading up to the door.
Now, Thanksgivings and other holidays are a LOT different. My grandparents are no longer here. Their house is sold to someone else and who knows if they have Thanksgiving there now, the family is all split up doing them. There's no one house to go to anymore. There is no kids table and no salad forks on the table and no special pastry.
There is my mom who is still with us. Although, she is not the same. She is here though. There is my brother and sister and my son who will be here in this small apartment celebrating with us and eating and there is my nephew who will buy the turkey in the box, as I call it, the cooked turkey with the stuffing, mashed potatoes, etc..already cooked so it is just heat and serve. I cook every day now, breakfast , lunch and dinner and snacks and Thanksgiving is going to be my day to just heat and serve and kick back and remember and celebrate the best I can.
If only that was how life worked that you aren't really dead when you "die." I was thinking today that since Thanksgiving is just a short week away that I would give anything to have my grandmother open up the door to her house as we all assemble there for Thanksgiving. I would love to see her smiling face and her outfit that she wore especially for that holiday. I would give anything to sit at the "kids" table that I am not too old to sit at but still my cousins and I would sit there with the kids because the "adult" table had just a little too much drama and for me personally I wouldn't want to be asked who I was dating and where was he by my grandmother. I even wouldn't care if my step grandfather had one of his traditional holiday tantrums and threw down the utensils because someone used the salad fork or the dessert fork to eat their turkey because of course we are not as educated on what fork to use like he is. He was fork savvy and there were always two or three different forks on the table at most of the holiday dinners. I would give anything to even see the same faces that I used to see at every dinner, at every holiday and at every backyard picnic.
If only I could walk to that house again and knock on the door and smell the aroma of turkey cooking in the oven and see the candied yams on the kitchen counter along with the minced meat pie that only my step grandfather will eat. I might even pretend to like the minced meat pie if I could see them again.
It has been many years since I had Thanksgiving with my grandparents, sister, brother, mom and cousins. It has been too many years to count since I walked in their house and smelled all the familiar smells of Thanksgiving. It has been so long since I heard my grandmother's voice and
I would give the moon to see my mom walk inside that house again like she used to and complain about the parking and how we had to get there extra early to get a good parking space that wasn't two blocks away. Just to see that big yellowish greenish house in the middle of the block with the stai glass window over the door and the green steps leading up to the door.
Now, Thanksgivings and other holidays are a LOT different. My grandparents are no longer here. Their house is sold to someone else and who knows if they have Thanksgiving there now, the family is all split up doing them. There's no one house to go to anymore. There is no kids table and no salad forks on the table and no special pastry.
There is my mom who is still with us. Although, she is not the same. She is here though. There is my brother and sister and my son who will be here in this small apartment celebrating with us and eating and there is my nephew who will buy the turkey in the box, as I call it, the cooked turkey with the stuffing, mashed potatoes, etc..already cooked so it is just heat and serve. I cook every day now, breakfast , lunch and dinner and snacks and Thanksgiving is going to be my day to just heat and serve and kick back and remember and celebrate the best I can.
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