Remembering
Last night I did something that I haven't done for years. We used to live in my grandmother's old house for a hot second. Two years after she died was like a hot second. So, from about a year old to about 3 years old for my son we lived there. He didn't remember much of that experience. Funny, I thought that he would grow up there and be a part of our family history. Or at least the history of the house which was in the family for over 50 years. But, it didn't work out like that. Things never quite work out the way I expected. If they do work out the way I expected I am more then shocked. So, my son and I were talking about the old house last night. We more than downsized to this place that we rent now and have been here for almost ten years next year, at least on this side of town I should say.
My son asked me how big the house was and what it looked like. I hadn't really thought about that house too much this year because other things more pressing came up and honestly, even though there were more happy memories then sad memories there I always get a little sad just thinking about the fact that we don't live there anymore and never will again. But, the more I told him about it the more he wanted to see it and since we were not driving anywhere that time of the night I told him I would try to find a picture of it online. I found one and showed him and told him where the bedrooms were and the around the back was a deck and the backyard and basement and things. The color is not the same. They painted it an ugly brown color. When we lived there it was yellow. They tore down the carport and now it is just a small, very small driveway which had a couple of cars squeezed in there. The trash cans were pushed to the curb so I assume on the day the picture was taken it was trash day. The handicapped parking space in the front of the house that my grandfather had the city put there was now gone. Anyone can park there now. It brought back all the memories of all the Christmases and all the Easter's and all the other holidays including birthdays that were spent in that house and all the summers I spent there going to the thrift shop's with my grandmother and all the time spent outside in the garden watering the plants and hanging out the wet clothes on the clothesline to dry. I remember swinging on the swings that they brought for the grand kids to play on and the slide that always got too hot in the summer to slide down. And the big plum tree that we used to climb to collect the plumbs in the summer. I wish that my son would have had those memories and memories of his great grandmother, Nana. I wish that he could have gone to the toy store and the thrift shops with her and helped her water her garden and plant new plants in the fall.
He will never know her, Nana, the way I did. He can't even remember her since she died a few days before his first birthday. He sees the pictures and hears the stories I tell him and now he has seen the house. He's okay with that. I wish I was too.
My son asked me how big the house was and what it looked like. I hadn't really thought about that house too much this year because other things more pressing came up and honestly, even though there were more happy memories then sad memories there I always get a little sad just thinking about the fact that we don't live there anymore and never will again. But, the more I told him about it the more he wanted to see it and since we were not driving anywhere that time of the night I told him I would try to find a picture of it online. I found one and showed him and told him where the bedrooms were and the around the back was a deck and the backyard and basement and things. The color is not the same. They painted it an ugly brown color. When we lived there it was yellow. They tore down the carport and now it is just a small, very small driveway which had a couple of cars squeezed in there. The trash cans were pushed to the curb so I assume on the day the picture was taken it was trash day. The handicapped parking space in the front of the house that my grandfather had the city put there was now gone. Anyone can park there now. It brought back all the memories of all the Christmases and all the Easter's and all the other holidays including birthdays that were spent in that house and all the summers I spent there going to the thrift shop's with my grandmother and all the time spent outside in the garden watering the plants and hanging out the wet clothes on the clothesline to dry. I remember swinging on the swings that they brought for the grand kids to play on and the slide that always got too hot in the summer to slide down. And the big plum tree that we used to climb to collect the plumbs in the summer. I wish that my son would have had those memories and memories of his great grandmother, Nana. I wish that he could have gone to the toy store and the thrift shops with her and helped her water her garden and plant new plants in the fall.
He will never know her, Nana, the way I did. He can't even remember her since she died a few days before his first birthday. He sees the pictures and hears the stories I tell him and now he has seen the house. He's okay with that. I wish I was too.
Comments
Post a Comment