Putting It Out There

I come from a line of strong proud women. I have known 2 generations of women and each generation has been stronger then last. I supposed that we have always had to be. I consider myself one of those strong women. I have always found a way to take care of everything that I needed to take care of just like my mom and her mom before her. It was just something that you did for the family found a way. You found a way to make a dollar out of ten cents to feed your family or put a roof over their heads. It was not always easy and not by any means were we rich or most of the time what they call the middle class. We were just trying to survive. One time in my mom's life she had what was called the American Dream I guess you could say if you consider that dream a house of your own, hard work and the essential things of life that you needed to survive without the hard struggle for a minute or in this case two years. But, now all that is gone. We still have what we need do to hard work and lots of struggle but now my mom is 77 years old and shouldn't be struggling as much anymore and I try to ease her struggle as much as I can. But, it just doesn't seem to be enough lately. I will admit that I have always hated bills but I have always paid them on time and so has my mom. Now, since she has had medical problems that have for lack of better words "popped up" this year including a broke hip, stroke, vascular dementia, thyroid problems and numerous others too many to mention it has been hard with all the medical bills in the thousands of dollars that just can't be paid in full if at all right now or maybe never who knows? Most of them I don't even bother to tell her about so she won't worry about them. I pay what I can but when a bill is over 8k a $40 payment per month is not making a dent in it. And that is only one bill. She had to take a trip recently to the emergency room and of course another bill came along with that. All she has is medicare and everyone knows that it doesn't take care of it all. I have tried to get help from the county and state and every place else but with all the red tape in the end she is not "poor" enough to receive the services that she needs. It drives me nuts to think that my mom who sometimes worked 2 jobs to take care of us after my dad died, a military veteran no less, can't get the help that she needs. 

I admit it. I am at wits end. Normally, I would be making ends meet but this is even over my head. I feel like I am drowning in medical bills. I would rather drown to say her but this time I can't save her like she has saved me numerous times in my life and for the first time ever I had to ask for help for her. I don't usually put my business out there like this but I feel that I have to this one time. My mom is not in good health and will not get better and before she leaves this earth I would like her to know that all the medical bills are paid and so she won't worry. It breaks my heart to have her worry about anything at this time in her life. 

My friend suggested a go fund me account. I had no idea of what that was and she explained it to me and today I lowered my head and opened my heart and made one for her. I don't know how this will all work out. I have never had to totally rely on the kindness of strangers for anything before. But, I am hoping for the best. Praying for the best outcome. 

Carol's Medical Fund, gofund.me/jcf174.

There I put it out there. I hope to never have to put it out there again. If you know what I mean.