Wish List

I been looking at houses online. Kind of mad at myself for not thinking I would ever need to own one 30 years ago or kind of thinking when I needed one something would work out and I would always have a place. If only I had a crystal ball for my 20 something year old self to see the future of 2014. Would I done things differently? I most definately would have. Would it have changed things any? I don't know. I know I was close once to having what is supposed to be part of the American dream or any dream actually. I lived in my grandmother's home for 2 years after she died. It was a beautiful thing. Beautiful to feel her spirit in each room. Beautiful to think of her while sitting quietly in her favorite room of the house and remembering the conversations we had in that room, the laughter and the tears. I felt at home in that house. It was home. 

I know I will never be able to live there again. I know someone else calls it home now. So, now as I sit in this small apartment listening to my son making too much noise sliding homemade from disks across the kitchen floor and searching endlessly for another place, or new digs, as my friend says, I have been making a house wish list. Not an apartment wish list just houses, homes. I can imagine the excitement my son feels as he puts things on his Amazon wish list. Sometimes things from his wish list appear. He thinks magically. But, not so much magic. Shhh don't tell him. I am not ready for him to stop believing in a little magic sometimes. That sometimes good things just happen. 
I have many houses on my wish list. I know that  most of them will be sold sooner then later since I live in a city where they are snapped up before they can get cold. But, for me its something to work towards, a goal. A goal to make this wish list a reality.