Long Lost Aunt
I haven't seen or spoken to one of my aunts in years. It is sad because I grew up with this aunt and was the closest to this aunt. Her husband was for lack of a better word a jackass. He was and is very controlling and tried to control every aspect of her life while he was off doing what he liked with all the women he liked and had the kids from these women to prove it. Nobody understood why she stayed married to him but she did. She probably doesn't even understand why either. I can only guess she didn't want to be alone so she settled for him. There is probably a lot more to it. It usually is but this is just my simple opinion from the outside looking in. After all nobody knows but them what makes it work in their marriage and all the why's. But, that is not the reason I haven't spoken to her because despite her husband trying to rule her like a dictator she did have some sort of relationship with her sister, my mom and her brother. It wasn't the best and most of the time she would call or come over to complain about him or her job which she didn't love. Nor did she feel love by her co workers or boss. We lived for years in a duplex that she owned with her spouse.
We haven't talked or seen each other on account of something that she did towards my mom after my grandmother, their mother, died. I know it gets crazy when people die and everyone wants something that the dead person had or what they think that they had. In some cases the thought is more then the actual items. And of course her husband lead the way into this battle of sisters. My mom has forgiven all that has happened and reached out to her but her husband always blocked any hopes of conversations that they may have had. He would answer phones and not answer doors.
My sister saw her a few years ago at the dollar tree. She was still looking the same as she did when we last saw her but just a little heavier due to some medications she is taking and her hair is a little less brown now and a little more grey and her glasses are a little thicker now. Her memory is not what it once was and she said she now has more trouble remembering things. She embraced my sister in a big bear hug and asked how everyone was and she even told her to have my mom call her. She said besides her memory she was doing pretty good. She repeated some things but more or less she was still the aunt that we used to know. She probably doesn't remember now what happened between her and my mom or that her husband helped it along as much as he possibly could and most likely filling her head with things that she knew was not the truth but after living over 40 years at the time with him she probably thought it was best just to go along with him and keep him happy. That is my guess.
So, the other day I was a little surprised to see that her granddaughter had posted a picture of her on Instagram on Christmas Eve. It wasn't exactly the most flattering picture. She was sitting on a couch with a "I love Grandma" sweat shirt with a picture of her first granddaughter who now is a mom of one with another one on the way. She was the photographer, the granddaughter. There was nobody else in the picture which I was surprised not to see and no group picture either just her sitting alone in the couch and not really posing for a picture. She, like me, is not really a picture person.
I looked at the picture and thought back to all the Christmas Eve's past and how she would sit at the grown up table with her husband and she would put a smile on her face and if you didn't know them you would think that they were the happiest couple in the world as she happily passed his plate and waited for hers. They were all smiles and giggles but you could also sense a touch of phoniness in the air just a hint that those smiles were hiding something. But, still I miss her and I miss her daily visits to our house to complain about something and pick up the pennies off the floor that my nephews would drop from their pockets. She would pick them up and put them in her pocket and smile. Found money made her happy I guess. Even if was only a few pennies. I even miss her calling every day to tell my mom something when she got home from work ten minutes after we saw her.
And I miss her crooked smile and sense of humor the most. I even miss the crazy car rides she took me on to find her husband when he didn't come home. As crazy as it seems those were the days.
I hope that someday or one day when I call her house phone, the only number she remembers that she will pick up the phone and tell me she is fine and ask about how everyone is. Until then Instagram will have to do.
We haven't talked or seen each other on account of something that she did towards my mom after my grandmother, their mother, died. I know it gets crazy when people die and everyone wants something that the dead person had or what they think that they had. In some cases the thought is more then the actual items. And of course her husband lead the way into this battle of sisters. My mom has forgiven all that has happened and reached out to her but her husband always blocked any hopes of conversations that they may have had. He would answer phones and not answer doors.
My sister saw her a few years ago at the dollar tree. She was still looking the same as she did when we last saw her but just a little heavier due to some medications she is taking and her hair is a little less brown now and a little more grey and her glasses are a little thicker now. Her memory is not what it once was and she said she now has more trouble remembering things. She embraced my sister in a big bear hug and asked how everyone was and she even told her to have my mom call her. She said besides her memory she was doing pretty good. She repeated some things but more or less she was still the aunt that we used to know. She probably doesn't remember now what happened between her and my mom or that her husband helped it along as much as he possibly could and most likely filling her head with things that she knew was not the truth but after living over 40 years at the time with him she probably thought it was best just to go along with him and keep him happy. That is my guess.
So, the other day I was a little surprised to see that her granddaughter had posted a picture of her on Instagram on Christmas Eve. It wasn't exactly the most flattering picture. She was sitting on a couch with a "I love Grandma" sweat shirt with a picture of her first granddaughter who now is a mom of one with another one on the way. She was the photographer, the granddaughter. There was nobody else in the picture which I was surprised not to see and no group picture either just her sitting alone in the couch and not really posing for a picture. She, like me, is not really a picture person.
I looked at the picture and thought back to all the Christmas Eve's past and how she would sit at the grown up table with her husband and she would put a smile on her face and if you didn't know them you would think that they were the happiest couple in the world as she happily passed his plate and waited for hers. They were all smiles and giggles but you could also sense a touch of phoniness in the air just a hint that those smiles were hiding something. But, still I miss her and I miss her daily visits to our house to complain about something and pick up the pennies off the floor that my nephews would drop from their pockets. She would pick them up and put them in her pocket and smile. Found money made her happy I guess. Even if was only a few pennies. I even miss her calling every day to tell my mom something when she got home from work ten minutes after we saw her.
And I miss her crooked smile and sense of humor the most. I even miss the crazy car rides she took me on to find her husband when he didn't come home. As crazy as it seems those were the days.
I hope that someday or one day when I call her house phone, the only number she remembers that she will pick up the phone and tell me she is fine and ask about how everyone is. Until then Instagram will have to do.
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