Family
I have three nephews. All of them are much older then my son. My sister was briefly married to the two oldest one's father and when the marriage broke up both of them wondered why and had issues that were never addressed by either my sister nor their father. The oldest one struggled more then than his brother. I think because his brother was a couple of years younger and was a toddler when they broke up.
My oldest nephew is now in his late 20's and is going to be a father himself and is still struggling with issues of why his dad left the family and never kept in touch with him or his younger brother. Over the years I tried to explain to him the best I could from the outside looking in. I told him that his parents had a life before they were even born. Like him they had their own struggles, their own problems, their ups and downs. They had childhoods that he doesn't know anything about. They are just people. I told him to look at them not as adults but as the kids that they were through those eyes. I told him I couldn't answer his questions about what happened. I told him that when you have children you try to get them ready for the world the best you can. You give them kindness, love, loyality, understanding, compassion, and all the other things that you think that they will need to survive in this world. Sort of like you pack up a suitcase before you take a trip. You try to pack that all into your child. But, maybe all those things weren't packed into the suitcases of his parents and that is why what happened to them happened.
I told him that people change over time. He won't see the world the same now as he will when he is my age. Some people change for the better and some change for the worse and some don't change at all and that is okay too if they don't. I told him that he is here. His parents got him here and for that I will be forever grateful to them for bringing this wonderful human being into the world.
My oldest nephew is now in his late 20's and is going to be a father himself and is still struggling with issues of why his dad left the family and never kept in touch with him or his younger brother. Over the years I tried to explain to him the best I could from the outside looking in. I told him that his parents had a life before they were even born. Like him they had their own struggles, their own problems, their ups and downs. They had childhoods that he doesn't know anything about. They are just people. I told him to look at them not as adults but as the kids that they were through those eyes. I told him I couldn't answer his questions about what happened. I told him that when you have children you try to get them ready for the world the best you can. You give them kindness, love, loyality, understanding, compassion, and all the other things that you think that they will need to survive in this world. Sort of like you pack up a suitcase before you take a trip. You try to pack that all into your child. But, maybe all those things weren't packed into the suitcases of his parents and that is why what happened to them happened.
I told him that people change over time. He won't see the world the same now as he will when he is my age. Some people change for the better and some change for the worse and some don't change at all and that is okay too if they don't. I told him that he is here. His parents got him here and for that I will be forever grateful to them for bringing this wonderful human being into the world.
