Feelings behind feelings
My sister made a big announcement the other day. She announced that her oldest son was having a baby, or his girlfriend was technically, and that the baby was going to be here in a few months and he was a he. She was thrilled that she was going to be a grandmother. Her first grandchild was on the way.
Well, I wasn't exactly sure how to feel. Over the past few years my nephew has distanced himself from me and my mom. He was supposed to help my mom and his younger brother with a project that never happened. He used the most horrible excuse he could think of not wanting to keep his word and that excuse involved hating someone. He knows that my mom doesn't believe in hating anyone or anything and she was very upset about what he said to his brother. He didn't say he hated either of them he used someone else that he hated as an excuse because the someone else was going to benefit from the project. In other words he just didn't have the guts to say he didn't or couldn't help them. Instead in my opinion he took the cowards way out and tried to find an excuse that wasn't necessary.
So, he hasn't contacted me or my mom in a few years. Occasionally he will call his brother on a restricted number so he can't call him back. His brother is his only connection to us. Not, that he is really caring about anything he just has a need to be nosey just in case he might need you for something he has to have some kind of contact with someone and that someone is his brother.
So, I have mixed feelings I guess you can say. I am happy that he is happy. Happy about the baby of course. But, not so happy with his actions. His actions speak volumes. He does have issues as we all do but everyone except him has never said that they hate anyone in this family. When you say you hate that is the most hurtful and dangerous thing you can feel. My grandmother always told us never hate anything or anybody. You can hate their actions but never hate them. She used to say especially family it starts there if you start hating family it is like hating yourself. I always remembered that.
I will always love my nephew. I may not like him at times and I know I will never ever hate him. My hope for him is that when his son is born his heart will fill so much love that he will never hate anyone ever again either nor use it for an excuse not to help someone. And I wish him a happy life full of nothing but love.
Well, I wasn't exactly sure how to feel. Over the past few years my nephew has distanced himself from me and my mom. He was supposed to help my mom and his younger brother with a project that never happened. He used the most horrible excuse he could think of not wanting to keep his word and that excuse involved hating someone. He knows that my mom doesn't believe in hating anyone or anything and she was very upset about what he said to his brother. He didn't say he hated either of them he used someone else that he hated as an excuse because the someone else was going to benefit from the project. In other words he just didn't have the guts to say he didn't or couldn't help them. Instead in my opinion he took the cowards way out and tried to find an excuse that wasn't necessary.
So, he hasn't contacted me or my mom in a few years. Occasionally he will call his brother on a restricted number so he can't call him back. His brother is his only connection to us. Not, that he is really caring about anything he just has a need to be nosey just in case he might need you for something he has to have some kind of contact with someone and that someone is his brother.
So, I have mixed feelings I guess you can say. I am happy that he is happy. Happy about the baby of course. But, not so happy with his actions. His actions speak volumes. He does have issues as we all do but everyone except him has never said that they hate anyone in this family. When you say you hate that is the most hurtful and dangerous thing you can feel. My grandmother always told us never hate anything or anybody. You can hate their actions but never hate them. She used to say especially family it starts there if you start hating family it is like hating yourself. I always remembered that.
I will always love my nephew. I may not like him at times and I know I will never ever hate him. My hope for him is that when his son is born his heart will fill so much love that he will never hate anyone ever again either nor use it for an excuse not to help someone. And I wish him a happy life full of nothing but love.
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