50 is Nifty!
Fifty is nifty. That was the caption under a picture of my cousin on Facebook while on a cruise ship. Today is her 50th birthday. I don't know her too well, if at all really. Actually, I had no idea she was my cousin until she turned 18. It was a few days before my grandfather's funeral. And as families do when people die, or at least my family, they were not in agreement on anything. One person wanted this and the other person wanted that and the wife, his second wife wanted something entirely different and so it went two days of trying to please everyone in making arrangements for a man who was a simple man and wouldn't have cared if he was buried in a pine box in an unmarked grave. He had said that a few times before he died, not to fuss and not to argue. But, in my family not going to happen. So, while sitting in his house, the kids were watching television while the adults continued to fuss over this and that a young woman comes in the door, in a white dress, sandals, carrying a white tote bag slung over her shoulder. She had long brown hair, which stopped at her shoulders and light brown, almost brown mixed with red colored eyes. She was tall and thin and looked around the room nervously as she searched for an empty chair or spot on the couch. I didn't know who she was. All I knew that we were about the same age.
My step grandmother on the other hand knew exactly who she was. She almost ran from her spot on the couch where she was sitting and almost pounced on the girl trying to give her a hug. She smiled as she asked the girl was she okay. I thought that was strange but didn't say anything. I was thinking well, maybe this girl was a friend of the family that I had never met before. I vaguely remember her coming over to see my grandfather when I was little but didn't remember anything else. I don't think anyone even told me her name back then. Before I could totally process this big lingering hug that was taking place across the room someone called my name. I turned in the direction of the voice and which belonged to my uncle and asked him what he wanted. He said he needed to speak to me. My mom was already standing beside him looking confused. I moved from my spot on the chair near the TV and went over to where he and my mom were standing off the kitchen. He cleared his throat and looked like he was stressed, the look he always had after he came home from work, then he smoothed his hair back, the other nervous thing he did from time to time. I thought this must be some big news. I thought about my grandfather who just died. I thought wrong.
He almost spoke in a whisper when he told me that the girl I had never or hardly ever seen before was my cousin. I turned around to look at the girl again who was now holding a conversation with my step grandmother and her sister. It took me a few minutes to digest what he had just told me. I wanted to ask a million questions but I knew that was not the time or place. About an hour later another woman arrived whom I didn't know and I was told that woman was my new cousin's mom.
Everyone got though the days that followed. My grandfather was laid to rest and life went back to normal. I saw my new cousin a few times after that. The last time I had seen her was at my grandmother's funeral. We vowed to keep in touch to get to know each other now as middle aged women with kids almost the same age, her son and my son, her daughter is a few years older, but that never happened. I did attempt to email her a couple of times but never got an answer so I was satisfied with just being Facebook friends with her and looking at all the pictures she posted about her family and from the posts I am getting to know her family. I am seeing a tiny glimpse into her life and the life of her family. All her younger sisters, her mom, step dad and her niece. I often wondered what it would be like talking to her exchanging stories about our kids or our day or careers, small talk that families do and friends do that haven't seen each other in a long time. But, I am sure that small talk or any other kind of talk will never happen between us.
So, when I logged on to Facebook this morning on my news feed was her and pictures of her and her family, mom, dad, kids, sisters and others on a cruise. Another caption said that she was celebrating not only her 50th birthday but her dad's 69th birthday and her sister's 30th. (her dad meaning the dad that raised her not my uncle who didn't raise her)
As I scrolled though the pictures I thought to myself that I guess going on a cruise surrounded by all the people who love you can make 50 VERY nifty indeed.
My step grandmother on the other hand knew exactly who she was. She almost ran from her spot on the couch where she was sitting and almost pounced on the girl trying to give her a hug. She smiled as she asked the girl was she okay. I thought that was strange but didn't say anything. I was thinking well, maybe this girl was a friend of the family that I had never met before. I vaguely remember her coming over to see my grandfather when I was little but didn't remember anything else. I don't think anyone even told me her name back then. Before I could totally process this big lingering hug that was taking place across the room someone called my name. I turned in the direction of the voice and which belonged to my uncle and asked him what he wanted. He said he needed to speak to me. My mom was already standing beside him looking confused. I moved from my spot on the chair near the TV and went over to where he and my mom were standing off the kitchen. He cleared his throat and looked like he was stressed, the look he always had after he came home from work, then he smoothed his hair back, the other nervous thing he did from time to time. I thought this must be some big news. I thought about my grandfather who just died. I thought wrong.
He almost spoke in a whisper when he told me that the girl I had never or hardly ever seen before was my cousin. I turned around to look at the girl again who was now holding a conversation with my step grandmother and her sister. It took me a few minutes to digest what he had just told me. I wanted to ask a million questions but I knew that was not the time or place. About an hour later another woman arrived whom I didn't know and I was told that woman was my new cousin's mom.
Everyone got though the days that followed. My grandfather was laid to rest and life went back to normal. I saw my new cousin a few times after that. The last time I had seen her was at my grandmother's funeral. We vowed to keep in touch to get to know each other now as middle aged women with kids almost the same age, her son and my son, her daughter is a few years older, but that never happened. I did attempt to email her a couple of times but never got an answer so I was satisfied with just being Facebook friends with her and looking at all the pictures she posted about her family and from the posts I am getting to know her family. I am seeing a tiny glimpse into her life and the life of her family. All her younger sisters, her mom, step dad and her niece. I often wondered what it would be like talking to her exchanging stories about our kids or our day or careers, small talk that families do and friends do that haven't seen each other in a long time. But, I am sure that small talk or any other kind of talk will never happen between us.
So, when I logged on to Facebook this morning on my news feed was her and pictures of her and her family, mom, dad, kids, sisters and others on a cruise. Another caption said that she was celebrating not only her 50th birthday but her dad's 69th birthday and her sister's 30th. (her dad meaning the dad that raised her not my uncle who didn't raise her)
As I scrolled though the pictures I thought to myself that I guess going on a cruise surrounded by all the people who love you can make 50 VERY nifty indeed.
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