51
Today another year has passed. Yep today is the day that I came into the world 51 years ago. I am pretty much OK with the number. I feel good just to be in this world for 51 years. Today my heart is also heavy. Today would have been my best friend from grade school , Nora's birthday too. We met in the first grade and from day one we were fast friends and best friends. We celebrated our birthdays together in class everyone would sing happy birthday to us in unison. I miss her and think about her often. Her sweet smile, long brown hair and her intelligence. She was one of the smartest people I have ever met. But, she was cool and humble and so very nice to every one. Not to mention a great artist. She could draw anything.
I remember one day we were in the 5th grade I think and we were just hanging out talking and walking to see the new BART station. We got tired and sat down on the warm sidewalk in the warm summer sun. We found some old rocks, the kind that look like chalk when you scrape them across the sidewalk. We used those rocks to draw our versions of modern art. Of course her drawing was better then mine but she, as nice she was she told me mine was just as good as hers. It was like she was reading my doubtful little 10 year old mind.
Nora was killed when we were 19. Just 3 months before our 20 th birthdays. After high school we lost touch. Something I will forever regret.
Yesterday I picked up my cake. For most of my life my grandmother would buy my cakes. Being my birthday was so close to memorial day we would have a picnic and the birthday became and song. I miss that too. I got my favorite cake, strawberry. I cut it that day.
I am not doing anything special today. No parties, no special dinners, no decorations. Just me. My mom said something odd, odd for her, she said to me its a shame I don't have anyone to wish me a happy birthday bor take me out. Well, after 51 years now she's concerned with my social life. I had to laugh. Well she's right for the most part, no I don't have a significant other as in husband or boyfriend or any possibilities of either today. Guess that's why I had to laugh.
Funny about mothers sometimes they hit the nail on the head. I always hope that by the next birthday my life will be better. Its a goal I have worked towards my entire adult life.
Well, I told my mom as long as I am still here its a happy birthday.
And tonight I am having a huge piece of cake for me and Nora and all my friends who I love dearly.
I remember one day we were in the 5th grade I think and we were just hanging out talking and walking to see the new BART station. We got tired and sat down on the warm sidewalk in the warm summer sun. We found some old rocks, the kind that look like chalk when you scrape them across the sidewalk. We used those rocks to draw our versions of modern art. Of course her drawing was better then mine but she, as nice she was she told me mine was just as good as hers. It was like she was reading my doubtful little 10 year old mind.
Nora was killed when we were 19. Just 3 months before our 20 th birthdays. After high school we lost touch. Something I will forever regret.
Yesterday I picked up my cake. For most of my life my grandmother would buy my cakes. Being my birthday was so close to memorial day we would have a picnic and the birthday became and song. I miss that too. I got my favorite cake, strawberry. I cut it that day.
I am not doing anything special today. No parties, no special dinners, no decorations. Just me. My mom said something odd, odd for her, she said to me its a shame I don't have anyone to wish me a happy birthday bor take me out. Well, after 51 years now she's concerned with my social life. I had to laugh. Well she's right for the most part, no I don't have a significant other as in husband or boyfriend or any possibilities of either today. Guess that's why I had to laugh.
Funny about mothers sometimes they hit the nail on the head. I always hope that by the next birthday my life will be better. Its a goal I have worked towards my entire adult life.
Well, I told my mom as long as I am still here its a happy birthday.
And tonight I am having a huge piece of cake for me and Nora and all my friends who I love dearly.
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