Shinning Star
Radiant and nice. That's how I would describe my exes mother. I was this particular ex for 10 years. We lived together for 7 out of those 10. I met his mother about 6 months after we started dating. She had him, her only child, when she was older like me. She was almost the exact same age when she had him as I was when I had my son. Although, at that time I didn't have any kids and her son would not be the father of my son. Her name was Mattie, an old fashion name that you don't hear too much today. She was about 5'3, medium wavy black hair and always wore two things, her glasses and dresses. In all the years I had known her I never once saw her with pants on except under her dress when it was really cold one winter. She was a very pleasant woman who loved the month of December more then any other month of the year. I know it had something to do with that was also her birthday month and of course Christmas.
She really enjoyed buying gifts especially for her sisters. One of her sisters, the youngest, she would say she was the hardest to buy for but she would always figure out something. The gifts were never too expensive that she gave or got but she was truly happy to give and receive. She was one of the happiest people I have ever met.
So, when I heard she passed away it truly made me sad. Although, her son and I had a not so friendly break up, she was one that was always nice to me even after the fact of her son and I no longer dating. I was remembering her today and remembering when the first of December would roll around she would put a star in the window, just one star that lit up and that was her only Christmas decoration she would put up. I never knew her to have a tree. I always got a tree for the house and decorated it. I guess after her husband of 50 years passed away she didn't get a tree anymore. I never asked her and she never volunteered to tell me so I guess it was something that she wanted to keep private. Nobody ever talked about it.
I thought about that lonely star in the window today that was the exact same star I used to top the trees I would buy for the house. I haven't gotten that kind of star again since I used to decorate her trees. I don't know what happened to that star. I assume that when I left the star stayed somewhere wrapped up in a box in the garage probably never to be seen again along with half the stuff I left there. At some point I am sure she had lots of decorations and I am thinking that back in the day her house probably looked like a winter wonderland in the inside. But, those days, if they ever existed were long gone. I also thought about how close she was to her older sister. They would talk multiple times per day. She has lost her husband too so it brought them much closer together from what I could tell. They would always start the conversation asking what the other was doing and then go from there and continue to talk about things like their other sister and the church and what they were having for dinner or lunch and what time they were going shopping if it was close to the weekend. Their conversations never last too long and at the end of the day when they would have their very last conversation of the night she would tell her sister she would talk to her tomorrow if God was willing. Back then I thought it was a weird way to end the conversation. I guess I really didn't think of the of those words until now. Now, I know.
I also know that this Christmas and all the rest of the Christmases that I am alive to see, God willing, there is a star in heaven just watching over everyone and that star is sparkling too. That is what I want to believe, just like that star she would put in the window each December 1st.
She really enjoyed buying gifts especially for her sisters. One of her sisters, the youngest, she would say she was the hardest to buy for but she would always figure out something. The gifts were never too expensive that she gave or got but she was truly happy to give and receive. She was one of the happiest people I have ever met.
So, when I heard she passed away it truly made me sad. Although, her son and I had a not so friendly break up, she was one that was always nice to me even after the fact of her son and I no longer dating. I was remembering her today and remembering when the first of December would roll around she would put a star in the window, just one star that lit up and that was her only Christmas decoration she would put up. I never knew her to have a tree. I always got a tree for the house and decorated it. I guess after her husband of 50 years passed away she didn't get a tree anymore. I never asked her and she never volunteered to tell me so I guess it was something that she wanted to keep private. Nobody ever talked about it.
I thought about that lonely star in the window today that was the exact same star I used to top the trees I would buy for the house. I haven't gotten that kind of star again since I used to decorate her trees. I don't know what happened to that star. I assume that when I left the star stayed somewhere wrapped up in a box in the garage probably never to be seen again along with half the stuff I left there. At some point I am sure she had lots of decorations and I am thinking that back in the day her house probably looked like a winter wonderland in the inside. But, those days, if they ever existed were long gone. I also thought about how close she was to her older sister. They would talk multiple times per day. She has lost her husband too so it brought them much closer together from what I could tell. They would always start the conversation asking what the other was doing and then go from there and continue to talk about things like their other sister and the church and what they were having for dinner or lunch and what time they were going shopping if it was close to the weekend. Their conversations never last too long and at the end of the day when they would have their very last conversation of the night she would tell her sister she would talk to her tomorrow if God was willing. Back then I thought it was a weird way to end the conversation. I guess I really didn't think of the of those words until now. Now, I know.
I also know that this Christmas and all the rest of the Christmases that I am alive to see, God willing, there is a star in heaven just watching over everyone and that star is sparkling too. That is what I want to believe, just like that star she would put in the window each December 1st.
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